The abuse you recieved at the hands of a narcissist was not your fault

It takes time to realise that when someone abuses you that it was not your fault. As a society the cards are stacked up against the victim of abuse. It is accepted that scapegoats are found to allow abusers to get away with abuse in every walk of life be it relationships with family, partners, children, workmates or groups. It seems that narcissistic people never want to take the blame for their cruelty. They find enablers to help them continue with this lie. The bully finds a gang just like in school.

So it is no wonder that victims of narcissistic abuse are left always thinking it is their fault. Told as children that they were to blame for their parents abuse. In a group or a business setting these scapegoats find they end up taking the blame once again for another's faults and mistakes. The narcissist is always believed because they set themselves up as great people with vocal skills that allow them to hypnotise others into being on their side. Narcissists can often be very charming and charismatic people, they have you fooled.

 But the shake comes when the victim becomes a survivor and wakes up to the narcissists lies. It is as if a veil has been lifted and they see with startling clarity that they were not to blame. They were abused.  This insight does not always come instantly in fact it can take years. But once seen it starts a neural pathway in the mind away from blame and shame and into self confidence realisation that it was never their fault. They see they were abused and that they could not stop it. It was not their responsibility to stop it but their abusers. They were powerless as both adults or children. Healing begins. Empowerment grows. No longer a victim but a survivor with knowledge of both themselves and others.