What is the truth about Empaths? Are they really as good as they think they are? Or......

 

'Empaths and Narcissists both have the same ability to tune into others. The difference is that Empaths use their abilities to help others but Narcissists use their abilities to help themselves.' 

Are you an Empath? Yes me too! 

Like a sponge for others feelings. An awareness of what others need, how they are, what their story is. It's like having a radar on all day long. But is it really helpful? 

I have spent my whole life helping others, all kind of groups from dying, disabled, ill, whoever I could help. In return I got this great warm feeling in my heart. Helping others is helping yourself they say. Unless you wake up to Narcissistic Abuse.

Once you see that narcissists also have this turned on radar and are able to work people out the same as an Empath you can see how you would be used by them. Because Empaths use their abilities to help others but narcissists use their abilities to help themselves. 

I used to be very open, friendly and warm but now I keep that in check. It is not easy but if I don't I will exhaust myself helping others. It has taken a long time to rein this in because it feels selfish doing so. This was what I was taught as a child. I was there for my parents needs while they neglected mine. 

The last wake up call I had was when an elderly man was lying on the path in front of me, a neighbor who never gives me the time of day. He had fallen due to his legs giving way and was in between two parked cars but as I approached he flung himself in my path. So I immediately helped him. I pulled him up and tried to get him to his house with his arm on my shoulder. I forgot that I am getting older myself, not as strong as I was, joint problems due to NA. So when I left him I realised that I had damaged myself by helping him and was in pain and had problems walking. 

My partner pointed out my folly when I told him. This man still ignores me in the street. I could have let someone else help him, there were others around but I had to be the one rescuing. It was a big lesson I don't want to have again. 

So empathy can be something good but only if you include yourself in that equation by giving empathy to yourself. By not forgetting that you also need help and care. But often Empaths run on empty with no one helping them or not accepting help.

What do you think? Is it good being an empath or has it been detrimental to you. Has it changed over time? Do you now hold back or is it an impossible condition you can't help?