It is so easy to just focus on your so called 'brokeness' instead of focusing on where you are not broken.

It is so easy to focus on what you think of as your brokeness and imagine that is all you are, or identify with it too much. Thinking positive doesn't always help either. But seeing where you are not broken and what strengths you have and seeing that boldly, it calms you.

 If you got this far it means that something is right with you. Something very right. There is an inner strength just in the fact that you survived. But you got so used to being told and shown that you were not ok that you forget you are. Just start in a tiny way and build it.

 To repair ourselves just thinking positive doesn't always help it only puts a plaster on the wound. Find a unique way back to you, find a way to see your strengths and to focus on them otherwise you get stuck in the not ok. Stuck in self abuse.

Look how you got to this point in your life. It took great effort. There must be something good about you. You are not just that broken, useless, person you thought you were. Other people made you think that. In reality you were the opposite of what they said. Focus on ok you.

Sometimes all we can see is how awful we think we are. It becomes a habit hard to break. Or we can brave it out and pretend we think we are great and become arrogant. No one is fooled especially ourselves. Each day we have to remind ourselves where we are ok. Start to believe it.

Habits from childhood, habits picked up as an adult, pressures of those around us all herd us into a box of who we should be. In competition with us, narcissistic people's only skill, is to step on our strengths. Uncovering your strengths and skills each day builds into a new you.

 You are not broken you are hurt. People hurt you. Hurt drives us into ourselves. We go into a familiar uncomfortable place we are comfortable with. We hide away from abusers even when they are long gone. We forget to come out.

Each day take one skill you have and remind yourself that this is you. Despite how life has affected, what coping devices you left with, somewhere you are very ok. It may be that you can't change things that are ingrained in you but you can change only focusing on those things.

 Even in what you see as your brokeness you can hold that part of you and even if it refuses to go no matter what you try you still hold it with compassion. Self care sometimes makes you realise that everything can't be fixed or made perfect but it can be held and not rejected.

 If there are parts of you that don't seem to heal, focus on the parts of you that you see as not needing healing. Do this every day until it becomes a reality. As for the broken, sad, parts of you, no point in rejecting that but you can help those parts by building up the ok you

You are not broken because if you were you would not have survived all you have done so far. You are hurt and healing. Even in the depths of your despair something inside keeps telling you to pick yourself up when you want to give up. This is your wisdom self. Time to start listening to that part of you.