You don’t know you are being trapped when you first meet a
narcissist. It isn’t your fault. It is not because you are stupid.
A predator knows how to fool their prey, they are experts at it. They
find out what you lack and need and then they pretend to fill that
need. It is all an illusion. Like a stage hypnotist. You were not to
blame. We all have needs. But the narcissist has so many needs, much
more than you could ever imagine, and you were there for the sole
purpose of filling every one of them. And you did. Can you remember
how much you put them first and neglected yourself?
The narcissist was pretending to give to you so that they could take from you. They were setting up credit the same as in a bank account. A loan you will have to pay for with high interest.
After you leave a
narcissist you will be constantly finding ways to blame yourself
about what happened, just like when you lived with them. You do that
because you were trained to, by them. You got used to taking the
blame for everything. In the time after you leave them you are still
in a state of conditioning. It is as if they own you. You were a
possession to them no more to them than a car or a handbag.
Extricating yourself
away from this delusion will be your new task. As you move away from
them and their power on you they will try to lure you back again by
offering you what they did in the first place to hook you in. Once
you understand what this was you can start to rebuild this lack
within yourself. Whatever they offer is of no benefit to anyone but
them. Reject it. Give this to yourself. Whatever you relied on them
for you begin to create it yourself.
Many people think
that it was love they offered but for some it was a sense of
security. Maybe it was material gains, position, lifestyle. You have
to find out what it was they offered you and then set about giving
that to yourself. No matter what they say or do to lure you back it
is not worth anything. If you go back you will pay dearly. The narcissist tricks, lies and manipulates.
Stay away
from the narcissist’s lair and become self sufficient.
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